Sunday, May 4, 2008

For All You Mothers

Well I have been noticing some blogs lately about Mother's Day and I haven't had anything exciting or even not that exciting to post about this week. ButI have always wanted to share an e-mail that I got a few years ago from my friend, Lisa about mothers and then another one about being pregnant. I thought they were so funny. So here is to all the mothers out there!

For all of the Mothers out there!

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal afteryou've had a baby ..........Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct .. Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ......Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ....Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother. Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books .......Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.... Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day ofkindergarten. or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ......Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her....... Somebody isn't a mother.

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women> >>

>Pregnancy Q &A &more!> >>

>Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

>A: No, 35 children is enough.

>Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

>A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

>Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

>A: Childbirth.

>Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. >A: So what's your question?

>Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? >A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

>Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

>A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

>> >Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

>A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

>Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

>A: Yes, pregnancy.

>Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

>A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

>Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

>A: When the kids are in college.


stephschmidt said...

So funny! I love those! The epidural one reminded me of being pregnant with Dallin. Just before I had him I asked my dr to write DRUGS ASAP in huge letters on top of my chart :)

Camille Whiting said...